2009 was the year in which I developed an appreciation of haikus. I'd known of them from years ago, but only recently realised how much I enjoy the thought process behind making them.

So please read on if you would like to read a few of my favourite haikus I have written.

2012
Two thousand and twelve?
Or is it said "Twenty Twelve"?
Either way we're screwed.

coffee
Living off coffee,
Affects you physically,
SoYouTalkLikeThis.

xmas
What does Christmas mean?
presents, cards, food and good friends,
then lots of fighting.

narcoleptic
Seriously tired
as I have narcolepsy
if I sit, I sleep.

looking good
You have lovely eyes
stunning, gorgeous, seductive
(*filmed with lash inserts)

my hair
Just shampoo'd my hair
it now smells like blueberries
still tastes like hair though...

xmas jobs
At this time of year
spare a thought for hard worked elves
making all your toys

Filed under Website Stuff, haiku / tanka.

Dec

Caaaat? Haiku

Posted at 08:54:14 pm

Stood out in the cold,
Calling my cat to come home,
Forgot he was dead

Filed under Things that occur to me.

Dec

Coffee Addict Haiku

Posted at 12:35:50 pm

Here is a haiku I am particularly proud of writing.

Weeing in Starbucks
Always leaves me feeling so
decaffeinated

Filed under Things that occur to me.

Nov

Vitiligo Appointment at Salford Hospital

Posted at 10:15:58 pm

I got an appointment to go to have my vitiligo patches looked at by a doctor at Salford Hospital. The appointment was at 5:20, and I was only due to finish work at 5:00. My boss said I could leave early, so I left work at 4:00.

Salford Hospital is, by far, the most confusing place I have been to in quite a long time. For one thing, there are no signs pointing to where the entrance is.

If you do gain entry all the areas inside the hospital are referred to by colours, like "blue area" and "green area". As I was initially walking up to the building, I saw that the outside of one of the buildings was painted dark blue. I took this to be the "blue area", found an entrance and went inside. Apparently the exterior colour is no indication of the area colour inside, as when I looked around inside I was in some sort or "purple area." Maybe this purple area had been inadvertantly caused by me wandering through a green area THEN a blue area?

In any case, I was lost somewhere really colourful.

20 minutes later, and after some sort of kaleidoscopic hallucination, I arrived at an information desk. I asked the old dear manning it, (or womaning it, I suppose,) where I needed to be. She gave me directions through a door just to my left. Moments later, I was at the dermatology centre (blue area) and talking to a Polish receptionist.

Shortly after taking a seat, watching a bit of telly, working out the order in which the coffee machine lights rotated their display and eating a few polos, I was called into the consultation room to see the doctor. The nurse advised me to remove my coat and jacket, and that the doctor would be in shortly.

I did and he was.

He introduced himself, shook my hand, and took a seat on the nearby bed. I was sat on a chair, so it was a very informal situation. The first thing he said was "So..... why are you here?" and he smiled and nodded. I've never felt so instantly at ease with a doctor.

I told him that my doctor at home had advised me that I had vitiligo, that my doctor had seemed unsure of how it was treated nowadays, wasn't sure if it was hereditary, hadn't "recommended" but had "mentioned" homeopathic remedies, and how all of these things were a concern.

He started his 4 minute explanation of everything, and I can honestly say that everything he said made sense. He didn't assume that I knew these things already, he didn't talk down to me as I feel doctors often can do, and he was a genuinely good doctor.

He asked me how long ago I had noticed the patches, and I told him about 6 months.

"And were the initial patches on the hairline, the hands or your eyelids?"

"Eyelids? Is it there too?" I asked, genuinely shocked.

"Around the eyes and the lids, yes," he confirmed.

"I didn't know my eyelids were changing colour!" I exclaimed.

He seemed unconvinced, and so I continued,

"In order to see my own eyelids in a mirror, I'd have to have done this!" I said, and promptly closed my eyes.

When I reopened them, he was nodding in agreement. "I suppose so," he affirmed.

"There are four possible treatments" he said after a short gap, drawing his chat towards conclusion. "Apply steroid cream daily in the hope that your melanin regrows, PUVA treatment where we give you an oral tablet and you sit in a light box while we fire UV light at you, injections to remove the remaining melanin which will give your skin an even tone but remove ALL resistance to sun damage, or camouflage."

When he said camouflage, I smiled. I think he took that as an indication of which method I preferred, whereas I was actually singing "Whoa ooo ooo ooo, Camouflage" by Stan Ridgeway in my head.

I chose the steroid cream.

"We will need to keep track of the patches so I will need to arrange appointments with our photographer, and we will need a blood sample too," he added.

"Before you leave, hand this into reception. They will make an appointment for you to see another doctor next time because," he lowered his voice slightly, "I won't be here..."

I felt a bit upset for him so I gave him a look of concern, hoping he hadn't just had some bad medical diagnosis himself.

Before I went to leave he brought me an information booklet about vitiligo, an appointment card for next time, a help-sheet of phone numbers and website addresses, and a prescription for two creams; a steroid cream for my hands and hairline and a non-steroid cream for my eyes. As he was signing a few things I glanced through the information booklet. I saw a section that just said "Remember - The sun is no longer your friend." Wise words on how to handle the planet which consists entirely of gas, fire, and temperatures exceeding the hottest of ovens.

As I was leaving, I thanked the doctor. It was a genuine eye-contact thanks, and I was sincerely appreciative of his time and expertise.

At the reception desk, I handed in my appointment card. I noticed, as I was passing back to the Polish lady, that my doctor had been called Dr. August. No wonder he said he wouldn't be here any more! It was October and he was already well passed his time!

So I now have a cream called Eumovate that I put onto my hands and forehead daily, and a cream called Elidel for around my eyes.

I had to go back to be photographed and for blood tests...

Filed under Things that occur to me, Vitiligo.

Nov

New game to play - Cheers Easy, No Bosh

Posted at 04:19:33 pm

"Cheers Easy" is a very simple game that you can play at any point throughout the day. Often, only the person you're playing the game with will realise you're playing it, so it's ideal for even the most intimate offices.

Basically, you have to ask a question that requires an really obvious answer. If the person you're asking actually answers your question, despite the answer being totally obvious, then that person has answered an "easy" question.

You then reply "Cheers Easy" to them, and you have 1 point.

For example: Person1 can see Person2 drinking some pop. Person1 asks "Are you drinking that pop?" and Person2 answers "Yes". Person1 can then claim the point by saying "Cheers Easy!"

Jobs a good-un.

However, to make the game fair, it's possible for any player to counteract any Easy question. If they realise they're being asked an Easy question, and they answer "No Bosh" instead, then THEY get the point.

For example, later in the same day Person1 can see Person2 drinking some pop. Person1 asks "Are you drinking that pop?" Person2 answers "No Bosh!". Person2 then claims the point, making it 1-1.

Whoever has the most points at the end of the day wins.

Filed under Website Stuff.

Nov

Working Week Tanka

Posted at 07:58:54 am

First day of the week
Just five more long days to go.
Until it's Friday
Those two days off are so nice
Shame Monday returns so soon.

Filed under Website Stuff.

Nov

Writings I'm Proud Of

Posted at 10:06:25 pm

I've reached 1000 tweets on Twitter, so thought I'd do a "best of" thing. I very rarely blow my own trumpet, but the things below really are things I am proud I thought up. I hope you enjoy them!

Is the Earth a manic depressive? It has two polar regions which, to my mind, makes it bi-polar...

I proper fancy chips today, but I'm afeared of the woman in the chip shop. I messaged her on facebook saying she gives good portions. now every time I go in, she talks at me like we're best mates. And she looks like Shrek, when she has her teeth in I mean...

My dog has no nose! ........and no body - we had her cremated a few months ago. Stop laughing.

I am about half way through reading the internet. I hope the ending is good.

I download info onto a mem card, and insert it into a slot I had installed in my neck. Can't read them-just a convenient place to store them

Why did Derek Acorah leave? He was brill! Admittedly he was a deceptive, manipulative fraud, but for entertainment value he was ace!

OH, I just passed out for ten minutes with fear from watching Most Haunted! (Well, ok, I actually just went for a coffee, but "passing out" sounded much more dramatic.)

Made my eldest stay up and watch Most Haunted. He won't sleep for weeks. #evilparent

On facebook last night, I appeared on my own list of "friend suggestions." Is it that obvious that I don't like myself? lol!

Apparently it's bad etiquette to ask whether paraplegics measure things in stumps and inches.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Dunno - algebra is something I don't understand.

I'd hate to lose my mind. It was bad enough when I left my walkman on the bus that time.

Found a musical dolphin at my mother in laws, but can you guess what song it sings? Wait for the guitar solo! - http://bit.ly/32xkh7

You know when Doctors take delivery of something pleasing that they had been waiting for, do they say "Ah, just what I ordered"?

My auntie was always social. In fact, we used to call her Aunty Social which, ironically, used to give the wrong impression.

I just accidentally pressed a spider into my face.

Did Damien Hirst obtain permission from the pencil manufacturers to display their product? They should sue Hirst and donate to the student.

I keep getting spam inviting me to earn qualifications in English. My English is perfect thanks! Trying to improve it would be unpossible.

If you really believe homeopathic pills will work, in a Uri Gellar kind-of way, then I'm sure they still won't.

Why do skeptics have to justify their rational thinking more than the people who believe the impossible?

IncreaseTheAmountOfTextYouCanFitIntoYourTweetsByOmittingSpacesAndCapitalisingEveryNewWord!YouCanGetUpTo15PercentMoreTweetsOnOneLine!CoolHuh?

Has the worlds slowest internet. (As proof, I actually typed this 5 days ago.)

I LOVE the fact that the spell check in Opera v10.0 thinks "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" should be "Electroencephalographic"

After the massive Twitter member clear-out, I'm still here! Phew! It must mean I'm not spam!

Every time I tweet I get another spam-follower offers me nude photos! I'm not complaining about them following, I'm upset I don't post more!

Filed under Things that occur to me, Website Stuff.

Oct

I Have Vitiligo

Posted at 09:24:52 am

A few months ago, about 7, I noticed I had patches of skin that were changing colour. People normally refer to me a olive-skinned, but the patches were were turning pale. As it was Spring and we were having an unusually sunny time, and because I am a typical man, I decided to ignore them.

But then a few months later, in summer, I developed white patches on my hairline. Unusually for me, I started to get sunburn in these patches. I've NEVER had sunburn! EVER! Well, ok, when I was 14 in Cornwall I got a burnt neck and had to wear my cap backwards to as to protect it, but that really was it.

I decided* I had to see the doctor, so made an appointment.

(*My wife became increasingly concerned and expressed a huge desire for me to consult a medical professional, rather than just dismiss these white patches as "one of those things" while I sit playing xbox)

So I went to the doctors, and I have vitiligo.

A brief summary of what vitiligo is would be...... It's an auto-immune disease where my attacks my own skin colouring (melanin) causing it to die off and leave a bleached-look effect on my skin. It's that skin colour-changing disease that Michael Jackson had that made him look white.

The doctor said there is no definate cure.

Interestingly, he also said that if I was open to the idea I could try homeopathic remedies designed to encourage melanin restoration.

Now I have an indepth understanding of how homeopathic remedies are made and, because of this, I believe them not to work. There is no possible way they can work. Absolutely none. So I replied by saying "There is no point telling people they are having a placebo..."

He laughed, then agreed, then made me an appointment to see another medically qualified professional to discuss the next steps - camoflage, steroids to encourage melanin growth or bleaching to remove the remaining melanin.

So, yeah....... I have vitiligo.

I've made a new category on my blog, and everything relating to my vitiligo and treatment will appear in there.

Filed under Things that occur to me, Vitiligo.

Oct

Stressed Tanka

Posted at 05:56:31 pm

Just written another tanka, entitled Stressed Tanka.

I have a headache
Had it for about an hour
paracetomol?
Really didn't touch it much
Some ibuprofen?
I doubt that will help either
Maybe sleep or rest will help

Filed under Things that occur to me, Website Stuff.

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Giggl.co.uk

You're going to get cancer. Fact.

My Haikus from 2009

Caaaat? Haiku

Coffee Addict Haiku

Vitiligo Appointment at Salford Hospital

New game to play - Cheers Easy, No Bosh

Working Week Tanka

Writings I'm Proud Of

I Have Vitiligo

Stressed Tanka

Giggl.co.uk

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