How many of the people you know really don't know what the heck they're on about?

They waffle on and on and on about absolutely nothing, sometimes for hours on end and combine elements of various well known sayings to generate brand new phrases on-the-fly.

They take a few words from phrase number 1, add in a few words from phrase number 2 and just blurt them out. They actually think they're making sense, yet unbeknown to them they make "looking stupid" seem as easy as..... (ahem)...... "falling off a .... pie."

They mix metaphors with such panache that they warrant SOME form of recognition, regardless of the lack of sense.

Or even better, they just make up things and say them, really believing that they're making total sense.

The best part is, the people saying them are usually in charge of something. Not something small like a CD, or a cup. They're usually in charge of companies, or other people. They're usually managers. You are being led by someone who cannot correctly repeat a phrase they've heard.

If this rings any bells with any of you, and you yourself have been subjected to many-a-stupidism, please post any memorable ones here.

My personal faves are listed below:

Lets not draw a concrete line in the sand or someones going to trip over it.

You're biting around the bush

I can't stress that hard enough and from the top of my voice.

Sometimes I think you have to let the fish off the hook. Not every man catches what he hooks.

If there was a barrel of snakes on the table, you wouldn't put your hand in it would you? But if I said it was ok, you'd go "Oh, I'll have some of that", wouldn't you.

There's a couple of anomalies on here, maybe for the rightly or the wrongly.

And then BANG! You walk straight into the lions mouth.

You're chewing too much and I don't think you can take it.

It's like having a hammer, throwing it over your shoulder into a canal, then realising you have no tools.

I'll come over in 2 ticks of a second.

Don't walk before you can run.

You have to run at it like a windmill.

As angry as a bare arse.

Go on John, fire ahead.

Your names flavour of the month today.

Give me my consecutive toy back.

I suppose if you smoke like a chainsaw, it's bad.

They kick it to broke it.

It just got worser.

I'll borrow you some money.

I thiefed it.

That'd make it betterer.

You learnt me some skills.

What have you teached me?

I'm in debit with you.

I'll find the wrongness.

I'm putting in a complaint about all ewes.

Those who are put your name down.

I'm going to write your autobiography.

She went for a break ten-teen times.

Her mum maked it worse.

I've only got 20 quid, 50p and a quid.

You only like him because you can talk all computerised to him.

It's going to a good homer.

No-ones inflammable.

They reclined to give me a loan.

Return cheque to client as will bounce if we do.

Just scuse it in.

Borrow us 20p while in a bit.

He gets all the mistakes wrong.

They're my bestest ones.

I went to KFC and bought a zimmer burger.

I've got to send them a utensil bill.

The dog had a tummock upset.

I wish they'd get the f***ing phones, scuse my English.

Her bills have been paided.

Because I forgot things easy.

I came in on Sunday even tho I wasn't rotated to do so.

I sawed it with my own eyes.

At this prior time...

Does she be daft like when she talks?

My eyes being irritatedable.

My wages are more better now.

Only long ago...

Their breakfasties are nice.

If WE'RE on it, I'm definately going to watch DogWatch.

I'm going all double-handed.

Are you bald when your hair grows back?

It tasters nice.

If you were a fan, you'd have betted with me.

There are 6 vowels in the alphabet - A.E.I.O.U and Y, all be it part time.

You don't get consistency very often.

Who wrote this note? It sounds like an Ian.

Come on bus......I mean Post Office.

Certainly please.

I'm going to buy some fireworks and shove a ferris wheel through her front door!
(Where the hell does she live? A castle? But think of the kids, screaming, rolling....)

Lets not draw a concrete line in the sand or someones going to trip over it.
(Lets make it slightly more definate than that then, eh?)

You're biting around the bush
(And it'll ruin your teeth)

I can't stress that hard enough and from the top of my voice.
(Listen to my guidance, or I'll make LESS sense next time.)

Sometimes I think you have to let the fish off the hook. Not every man catches what he hooks.
(Don't you mean...... something different?)

If there was a barrel of snakes on the table, you wouldn't put your hand in it would you? But if I said it was ok, you'd go "Oh, I'll have some of that", wouldn't you.
(No. I don't trust your judgement THAT much, regardless how adamantly you believe I do)

Come on bus......I mean Post Office.
(She got so bored waiting for the Post Office to open, she forgot what she was whinging about.)

There's a couple of anomalies on here, maybe for the rightly or the wrongly.
(Always best to proof read things, so you can spot mistakes before they happen.)

And then BANG! You walk straight into the lions mouth.
(So make sure you avoid its TNT fillings and exploding tongue)

You're chewing too much and I don't think you can take it.
(Just STOP chewing. Try biting next time.)

It's like having a hammer, throwing it over your shoulder into a canal, then realising you have no tools.
(If your hammer is ALL your tools, you're in quite a bad state.)

I'll come over in 2 ticks of a second.
(So I'll come over in a brand new time dimension yet to be discovered.)

Don't walk before you can run.
(Why bother learning the basics?)

You have to run at it like a windmill.
(..............?)

As angry as a bare arse.
(And not a sore one at that)

Go on John, fire ahead.
(But let me get out of the way first)

I suppose if you smoke like a chainsaw, it's bad.
(Better than being a chain-smoker, I suppose, but quite petrolly)

Your names flavour of the month today.
(4 contradictory things in 7 words. Brilliant)

Give me my consecutive toy back.
(...and take the next one.)

I've only got 20 quid, 50p and a quid.
(why can't they just make a £21.50 coin, just for people who can't add up 3 things?)

I came in on Sunday even tho I wasn't rotated to do so.
(I wasn't ROTATED, but I TURNED up anyway. Guffaw Guffaw!)

I'm going all double-handed.
(Oh, THAT was easy. I'm 2 handed already.)

My eyes being irritatedable.
("My eye is sore" would suffice. No need to invent your own words to over-prove a point.)

I've got to send them a utensil bill.
(Lets hope I don't have to fork out too much...)