Today, I invented a game – Midget Gem Gamble.

It’s such a great game!

It’s so good in fact, that when I explained it to a mate and demonstrated how to play, he was that impressed he said “I’d high five you, but your hands are covered in drool.”

Everyone knows that black midget gems are either the nice blackcurrant kind or the nasty liquorice ones. This game can only be played with packs of midget gems that contain the nasty ones.

The idea is to try to single out the black one from a mouth full of other flavours, and spit it out while retaining the nice ones in your mouth. The earlier you spit it out, the more points you score.

How to play:

• Get a pack of midget gems.
• Take out 10 midget gems, ensuring that you include 1 black one.
• Throw all 10, including the black one, into your mouth at once.
• Mix them around inside your mouth for 20 seconds.
• Try to single out the black one by using taste only, and spitting it out into your hand.
• If you get it first time, you score 1 point (1 is the best score, like in the popular music charts)
• If you don’t spit out the black one, try again with the remaining 9.
• Each spit after the initial one must be made within 5 seconds of the previous spit, or the score also reduces by one.
• Each time you fail to spit out the black one, and reduce the number of midget gems in the mouth, the potential score reduces by one.

• If you get it on “spit 2” you score 2. “Spit 3” = a score of 3, etc… but taking into account any occasions when the 5 second limit has been exceeded.

Tips:
When buying midget gems opt for value packs, as it’s harder to differentiate due to cheaper flavouring.
Play in a group. Playing this game alone signifies a high level of self loathing.