A few months ago, we had a challenge at work to see who could make the most money from Ebay, by selling things they had bought from a pound shop. We spent up to £5.00 each, buying up to 5 things, and sold them to see who could make the most money back.

I won, (obviously,) even though I only made about £2.80 back. I only bought 4 things, and only two of them sold. For some reason the James Bond replica car and and an old peoples "grabber" were more popular than sexist fridge magnets and a toy frog. The world is a bizarre place.

Recently the idea for a rematch surfaced and, as there are now more work colleagues interested in playing along, it was decided that some clear updated rules were needed. So here they are!

The idea:

• To buy things costing no more than £5.00 in total, sell them on Ebay and see who makes the most money.

Buying:

• You can buy as many items as you like, as long as the total spent does not exceed £5.00. (You could get five items from a pound shop, or two items from two different shops, as long as the total spent does not exceed £5.00.) You are no longer limited to pound shops.
• If you buy item(s) online, only the cost of the item(s) will count towards your £5.00 total, not the postage.
• Items can be bought and listed on Ebay up until the 23rd June.

Selling:

• Everything you sell must be sold on Ebay between June 1st 2010 and June 30th 2010.
• If an item does not sell, it can be relisted, but unless sold by the competition end date it will not add to your end total.
• Whoever makes the most money, not including amounts charged for postage, is the winner. (Even if the total made is less than the total initially spent.)
• On June 30th, Whoever has made the most money from the sale of these items is the winner.

If you fancy playing along, let me know!

Today, I invented a game – Midget Gem Gamble.

It’s such a great game!

It’s so good in fact, that when I explained it to a mate and demonstrated how to play, he was that impressed he said “I’d high five you, but your hands are covered in drool.”

Everyone knows that black midget gems are either the nice blackcurrant kind or the nasty liquorice ones. This game can only be played with packs of midget gems that contain the nasty ones.

The idea is to try to single out the black one from a mouth full of other flavours, and spit it out while retaining the nice ones in your mouth. The earlier you spit it out, the more points you score.

How to play:

• Get a pack of midget gems.
• Take out 10 midget gems, ensuring that you include 1 black one.
• Throw all 10, including the black one, into your mouth at once.
• Mix them around inside your mouth for 20 seconds.
• Try to single out the black one by using taste only, and spitting it out into your hand.
• If you get it first time, you score 1 point (1 is the best score, like in the popular music charts)
• If you don’t spit out the black one, try again with the remaining 9.
• Each spit after the initial one must be made within 5 seconds of the previous spit, or the score also reduces by one.
• Each time you fail to spit out the black one, and reduce the number of midget gems in the mouth, the potential score reduces by one.

• If you get it on “spit 2” you score 2. “Spit 3” = a score of 3, etc… but taking into account any occasions when the 5 second limit has been exceeded.

Tips:
When buying midget gems opt for value packs, as it’s harder to differentiate due to cheaper flavouring.
Play in a group. Playing this game alone signifies a high level of self loathing.

When I was young, I used to think that everyones phone number was sequential like the house numbers. As in, your next door neighbour had almost the same phone number as you but minus or plus one.

As you know, my mobile number is 07919 390145. The numbers that have the same beginning but end in 144 and 146 are, in effect, my "mobile neighbours"

When you move into a new house, it's normal that you (eventually) introduce yourself to your neighbours. I'd had my mobile number for ages but had never put any effort in and introduced myself to my "mobile neighbours," so I decided to send them a text.

"Hi. Your phone number is just one digit different to mine, so we are text-door neighbours! Hope you're well. Don't worry - I'm not weird! Craig."

I realised it may be worrying to get a text from a random number, so I hoped to alleviate any fears my recipients may experience by adding the reassuring "I'm not weird" line. I felt it was a point I wanted to make as early on in our relationship as possible, to alleviate worries.

I pressed "send" and sat there, optimistically holding my phone.

An hour later I realised that my text-door neighbours were either out, or ignoring me. I didn't want to appear pushy to my new neighbours, but I also felt really let down by their lack of communication back. My original message specified "just one digit different to mine." I figured that it didn't matter WHICH digit was different, so I decided to change the second-to-last digit by +1 and -1 and text them too.

So texts went out to numbers that ended in 135 and 155.

Another hour passed and nothing.

I had sent texts to four random people, and it occured to me that there may be a few reasons why a response was not forthcoming.

1) They thought I was weird, despite my reassurance.
2) They didn't get the text. (Maybe their phone was off.)

Later that night, at around half seven, I popped onto Facebook and put a comment on my status asking "What replies would you get if you sent texts to your mobile neighbours, as in your mobile number +1 and -1?"

One "real life" friend (I say "real life" as opposed to "pretend" friend to differentiate between people I actually know and internet-only friends) thought this was a great idea and said he was going to do it. At the time of his reply it was around half eleven at night.

Five minutes later he re-commented that he couldn't wait and had sent them a "Will you be my friend?" text there and then.

How freaked would you be if you got a text at half to midnight, from an unrecognised number asking to be your friend? Personally, I would be "PROPER" freaked!

Next morning I checked my phone. Nothing. Nothing from all 4 of my mobile neighbours. Disappointed, I checked facebook. Anthony had also been unsuccessful in contacting his neighbours. But whereas I had let it go, Ant had decided to re-text them with "I can't believe you have ignored your textdoor neighbour. I hope you treat your real neighbours better."

I guess some people prefer real life.

As I'm sure you know, I very rarely share websites that I find interesting with people here, but I came across a photography site earlier that absolutely amazed me. Antarctic-Imagery is a collection of absolutely breathtaking images from the Antarctic.

The photos were taken by Malcolm Needham, while serving on the Royal Navy's HMS Endurance, and they include crystal clear images of icebergs, landscapes and seascapes.

Some are moody and eerie, some dramatically atomspheric, but all taken with absolute clarity. Genuinely breathtaking.

Go and have a look.

Go now, and thank Gary Spencer for a putting together a great, easy to navigate site.

http://www.antarctic-imagery.co.uk/

They say the internet is full of weirdos. In all fairness, it probably has many weirdos on it. However, I don't for one minute believe that there are proportionally more weirdos on the internet than there are anywhere else. Weirdos are everywhere and I have an equal chance of meeting one in real life as I do online.

So while I was bored one day, I decided to put my mobile phone number online for all to see. I was interested to see whether anyone would call it, but also interested to see whether I would be called by any weirdos. I imagine weirdos would like that sort of thing.

My mobile number is 07919 390145. (or +447919 390145 if you're an international weirdo.)

I decided Twitter would be a good place to start broadcasting, so I keyed in the following tweet:

Anyone ever wonder what would happen if you put your mobile number online, for everyone to see? Would anyone call it? Mine is 07919 390145.

I got a reply on Twitter shortly afterwards from a follower, saying that their mobile number had been online for years and they had had very few problems. This reassured me.

Other people asked if I had received any calls or texts. I replied that I hadn't.

Then I got a text!

"Hi, this is wolf******"

Wolf**** was obviously not a weirdo. He told me who he was, AND I recognised his username from Twitter as someone I talk to.

I replied to the text, letting him know he was my first texter.

Back on Twitter, I put a message:

Just one text so far... Internet weirdos, you disappoint! +447919 390145.

Then I got a series of texts from an unknown number...

Craig, stop fannying about with cheap mobiles and get some work done.

followed shortly after with,

Oh, hang on, does this make me an internet weirdo now? Nooo! *gives in and makes tinfoil hat*

Again, these messages were clearly not sent by a genuine weirdo, but someone just having a laugh at the situation. I text back asking if I knew them, as they used my real first name, but they replied again to say they were just a bored Twitterer. I didn't know who they were, but that was ok. I was doing it just to see how many replies I got, not to collect contact details for people. Later on, however, I got a message on Twitter from Cherry******* saying it was her.

Next I got a text saying "Hi, can I be an internet werido? Found u cos I wondered what ud said to Paul Daniels!x" Earlier in the week I had messaged Paul, commenting about his levitation video on YouTube. (It looks great!)

"Course you can!" I replied.

On Twitter, tartan******* asked if I wanted people to phone or text. I replied "I don't mind. Text or phone, I'll answer or reply whatever people do. For the stats, I've had 3 seperate texters so far."

Shortly after I got a text from tartan******* saying that curiosity got the better of her. lol!

So I'd had a few texts from 4 seperate numbers, 3 of which were confirmed Twitterers who I "know" (as much as you CAN "know" someone you've only ever chatted to online and never actually met) and one stranger.

I was reassured that people online are no more weird than people I am likely to bump into on the street. Everyone had appeared friendly and had a laugh.

My mobile buzzed again, signaling another text. It just said "Your mother sucks cocks in hell! Bwahahaha!"

So 4 out of 5 isn't too bad a stat, is it?

Why does everything on earth contribute towards cancer?

(I received this list via email - if you know who compiled it, please let me know and I will credit them.)

AGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449783/Women-birth-age-30-double-risk-breast-cancer.html

AIR POLLUTION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-cancer.html

AIR TRAVEL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-200443/Frequent-fliers-raise-cancer-risk.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-591109/Cancer-risk-frequent-fliers.html

ALCOHOL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-147083/Drink-day-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-471910/Bowel-cancer-danger-just-glass-wine-day.html

ALLERGIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-324732/Child-allergies-raise-cancer-risk.html

ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-55023/Cancer-causing-chemicals-soy-sauce.html

ARTIFICIAL LIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-391267/Artificial-light-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html

ASBESTOS (as if it wasn’t bad enough already) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1170584/Asbestos-schools-kill-pupils-warns-teacher-dying-lung-cancer.html

ASPIRIN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-205490/Asprin-link-cancer-risk.html

BABIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-157683/Birth-size-link-breast-cancer.html

BABY BOTTLES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038697/EU-rejects-ban-baby-bottles-linked-early-puberty-breast-cancer-miscarriage-infertility.html

BABY FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-199887/Baby-food-cancer-alert.html

BACON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1102368/Additives-used-bacon-ham-chicken-make-cancers-grow.html

BARBEQUES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-cancer-risk.html

BEEF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-393666/Alarm-beef-link-breast-cancer.html

BEER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1161843/Just-pint-beer-day-raise-risk-prostate-cancer.html

BEING A BLACK PERSON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064547/Black-men-times-likely-prostate-cancer.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-508753/Black-women-develop-breast-cancer-decades-earlier-white-women.html

BEING A WOMAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-63976/Cancer-risk-higher-women-smokers.html

BEING A MAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-306543/Men-twice-likely-die-cancer-women.html

BEING SOUTHERN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1027331/Why-affluent-women-South-likely-die-breast-cancer.html

BISCUITS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-126342/Cancer-foods-avoid.html

BLOWJOBS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-453843/Oral-sex-cause-throat-cancer.html

BRAS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-182370/Is-bra-bad-you.html

BREAD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-411506/White-bread-increases-cancer-risk.html

BREAST FEEDING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-178756/Whos-risk-breast-cancer.html

BREAST IMPLANTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-41443/Breast-implants-cancer-scare.html

BROKEN HEARTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-450049/How-heart-broken-grief-send-early-grave.html

BUBBLE BATH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-403703/Is-bubble-bath-safe.html

BURGERS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-467360/Cancer-scare-food-colour-added-sausages-burgers.html

CAFFINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1127473/Coffee-raise-child-cancer-risk-New-evidence-caffeine-damage-babies-DNA.html

CALCUIM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052127/Fatal-cancer-risk-men-high-blood-calcium-levels-say-US-researchers.html

CANDLE-LIT DINNERS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1207726/Candles-release-scents-laced-cancer-chemicals-warn-scientists.html#ixzz0dufFps6a

CANNED FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-44676/Gender-bending-chemicals-tin-cans.html

CARBOHYDRATES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-313227/Low-carb-diets-beat-breast-cancer.html

CARS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-cancer.html

CEREAL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html

CHEESE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1002424/Italy-shuts-mozzarella-production-toxin-fears-spread.html

CHICKEN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-foods.html

CHILDLESSNESS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-474820/SUZANNE-MOORE-Im-sick-told-fault.html

CHILDREN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-according-new-study.html

CHILDREN’S FOODhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-201390/Health-warning-childrens-food.html

CHILLIS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-347287/Cancer-checks-spices-new-food-dyes-alert.html

CHINESE MEDICINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-75547/Warming-cancer-risk-Chinese-medicines.html

CHIPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-487571/Parents-told-chips-cause-cancer.html

CHLORINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-431777/Chlorine-bathwater-linked-cancer.html

CHOCLATE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-386625/Cancer-fears-chocolate-snacks.html

CITY LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-496495/City-life-blamed-higher-risk-breast-cancer.html

CLIMATE CHANGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-452789/Warmer-climate-mean-thousands-deaths-skin-cancer.html

COCA COLA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-337178/Carrot-day-reduces-cancer-risk.html

COD LIVER OIL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-379918/Cancer-fears-cod-liver-oil-capsules.html

COFFEE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3027/How-healthy-cup-coffee.html

CONSTAPATION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-193698/Atkins-diet-cancer-risk.html

CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-181273/Cancer-risk-45-higher-Pill.html

COOKING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-382571/Frying-increase-cancer-risk.html

CORDLESS PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-515970/After-cancer-warnings-mobiles-home-phone-putting-health-danger.html

CRAYONS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6706/Safety-alert-best-selling-crayons.html

CURRY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-342632/Cancer-dye-Grossman-curry-sauce.html

DEODRANT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-205705/Deodorants-linked-cancer.html

DIETING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-73056/Is-diet-lifestyle-putting-risk-breast-cancer.html

DOGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490581/Can-dogs-breast-cancer-Bizarre-medical-theories-experts-claim-actually-true.html

EGGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-50995/Cancer-chemicals-eggs.html

ELECTRICITY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449679/Power-lines-link-cancer-new-alert.html

ENGLISH BREAKFAST http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1049142/Traditional-English-fry-raise-risk-bowel-cancer-63-cent.html

FACEBOOK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1149207/How-using-Facebook-raise-risk-cancer.html

FALSE NAILS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1174768/Having-nails-skin-cancer-doctors-warn-women.html

FATHERHOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-according-new-study.html

FIBRE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4903/Fibre-cancer-risk-warning.html

FISH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-117840/Fish-cancer-scare.html

FLIP FLOPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025915/Wearing-FLIP-FLOPS-skin-cancer-doctors-warn.html

FLY SPRAY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-459938/Using-pesticide-sprays-home-double-risk-brain-tumours.html

FRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-371260/Breast-cancer-drug-cuts-death-risk.html

GARDENS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-cancer-risk.html

GRAPEFRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-468559/Eating-grapefruit-increase-breast-cancer-risk-third.html

HAIR DYE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1017259/How-using-hair-dye-increase-risk-
cancer.html

HAM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490845/Is-safe-eat-Cancer-report-adds-bacon-ham-drink-danger-list.html

HEIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064454/Bigger-taller-baby-girls-higher-risk-breast-cancer-says-study.html

HONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-foods.html

HOT DRINKS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html

HRT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1214782/HRT-increases-risk-dying-lung-cancer.html#ixzz0dueJ7qOY

INTERNET http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-312505/Cancer-patients-risk-websites.html

IVF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-148228/How-IVF-raises-cancer-risks.html

KIDNEY TRANSPLATS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-459097/TV-prize-kidney-carries-risk-cancer.html

LAMB http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-446559/Red-meat-link-higher-risk-breast-cancer.html

LARGE HEADS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-370870/Big-headed-babies-prone-cancer.html

LEFT-HANDEDNESS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-363477/Left-handers-likely-breast-cancer.html

LIPSTICK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-499967/Is-lipstick-giving-cancer.html

LIVER TRANSPLANTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-207838/Cancer-liver-transplant-killed-husband.html

MENOPAUSE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-395201/Weight-gain-menopause-increases-breast-cancer-risk.html

MENSTRUATION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-68946/Do-women-need-periods.html

METAL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1081692/The-metals-daily-glass-wine-linked-cancer-Parkinsons.html

MILK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-328863/Milk-linked-ovarian-cancer.html

MOBILE PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-473553/Orange-remove-mobile-mast-tower-doom-cancer-rate-soared.html

MODERN LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-474157/Modern-living-blame-cancer-epidemic.html

MONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025375/Wealthy-background-raise-risk-cancer-teenagers.html

MORPHINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1230208/Pain-drug-morphine-cause-cancer-spread.html#ixzz0dudlHqN2

MOUTHWASH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1113422/Mouthwash-causes-oral-cancer-pulled-supermarkets-say-experts.html

NUCLEAR POWER (there is no hint of irony in this article) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-42066/New-study-links-nuclear-sites-cancer.html

OBESITY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-245997/Obesity-raises-risk-cancer.html

OESTROGEN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4098/Oestrogen-link-breast-cancer.html

OLDER FATHERs http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1223025/Why-older-fathers-likely-children-genetic-disorders.html#ixzz0dudLlJsP

PASTRY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html

PEANUT BUTTER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1164417/Food-watchdog-warning-peanut-butter-brand-containing-cancer-causing-fungus.html

PERFUME http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1051130/How-perfumes-scented-creams-make-unborn-baby-infertile.html

PICKLES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html

PIZZA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-341698/New-food-dye-warning.html

PLASTIC BAGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1207840/Plastic-decomposes-sea-releases-cancer-causing-chemicals-study-warns.html#ixzz0duexZlFs

PORK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1093039/After-alert-Irish-pork-safe-beef.html

POTATOES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-115037/Cancer-chemical-link-cooked-food.html

POVERTY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-474820/SUZANNE-MOORE-Im-sick-told-fault.html

PREGNANCY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-82458/Breast-cancer-risk-career-women.html

RADIOACTIVITY (again, just no irony whatsoever) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-421140/As-radioactive-spy-buried-bar-staff-served-facing-cancer-risk.html

RICE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-444222/Rice-tainted-arsenic-raises-risk-cancer.html

SAUSAGES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-550729/Why-eating-just-sausage-day-raises-cancer-risk-20-cent.html

RETIREMENT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1220446/Oh-Work-good-especially-youve-retired.html#ixzz0ducbviCE

SHAVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206459/Shaving-raise-cancer-risk.html

SKIING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206243/Skiers-warned-cancer-risk.html

SOUP http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1132814/Salty-soups-increase-cancer-risk-says-expert.html

SPACE TRAVEL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1015482/How-astronauts-risk-cancer--premature-ageing--travelling-space.html

SUN CREAM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-592076/Cancer-fear-childrens-sun-creams.html

TALCUM POWDER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1063040/Cancer-alert-talc-Women-using-powder-day-risk.html

TEA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-87131/Too-tea-treble-cancer-risk-women.html

TEEN SEX http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1237530/Girls-sex-teens-greater-risk-developing-cervical-cancer.html#ixzz0dudvXOF7

VITAMINS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-320006/Vitamin-pills-cause-early-deaths.html

WATER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-13620/Cancer-link-tap-water-radon-hotspots.html

WI-FI http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-456534/The-classroom-cancer-risk-wi-fi-internet.html

WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-338899/Dye-alert-spreads-school-meals.html

WORKING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1031934/Why-men-desk-jobs-higher-risk-prostate-cancer.html

X-RAYS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-207035/X-rays-bring-risk-cancer.html

(I received this list via email - if you know who compiled it, please let me know and I will credit them)

2009 was the year in which I developed an appreciation of haikus. I'd known of them from years ago, but only recently realised how much I enjoy the thought process behind making them.

So please read on if you would like to read a few of my favourite haikus I have written.

2012
Two thousand and twelve?
Or is it said "Twenty Twelve"?
Either way we're screwed.

coffee
Living off coffee,
Affects you physically,
SoYouTalkLikeThis.

xmas
What does Christmas mean?
presents, cards, food and good friends,
then lots of fighting.

narcoleptic
Seriously tired
as I have narcolepsy
if I sit, I sleep.

looking good
You have lovely eyes
stunning, gorgeous, seductive
(*filmed with lash inserts)

my hair
Just shampoo'd my hair
it now smells like blueberries
still tastes like hair though...

xmas jobs
At this time of year
spare a thought for hard worked elves
making all your toys

"Cheers Easy" is a very simple game that you can play at any point throughout the day. Often, only the person you're playing the game with will realise you're playing it, so it's ideal for even the most intimate offices.

Basically, you have to ask a question that requires an really obvious answer. If the person you're asking actually answers your question, despite the answer being totally obvious, then that person has answered an "easy" question.

You then reply "Cheers Easy" to them, and you have 1 point.

For example: Person1 can see Person2 drinking some pop. Person1 asks "Are you drinking that pop?" and Person2 answers "Yes". Person1 can then claim the point by saying "Cheers Easy!"

Jobs a good-un.

However, to make the game fair, it's possible for any player to counteract any Easy question. If they realise they're being asked an Easy question, and they answer "No Bosh" instead, then THEY get the point.

For example, later in the same day Person1 can see Person2 drinking some pop. Person1 asks "Are you drinking that pop?" Person2 answers "No Bosh!". Person2 then claims the point, making it 1-1.

Whoever has the most points at the end of the day wins.

First day of the week
Just five more long days to go.
Until it's Friday
Those two days off are so nice
Shame Monday returns so soon.

I've reached 1000 tweets on Twitter, so thought I'd do a "best of" thing. I very rarely blow my own trumpet, but the things below really are things I am proud I thought up. I hope you enjoy them!

Is the Earth a manic depressive? It has two polar regions which, to my mind, makes it bi-polar...

I proper fancy chips today, but I'm afeared of the woman in the chip shop. I messaged her on facebook saying she gives good portions. now every time I go in, she talks at me like we're best mates. And she looks like Shrek, when she has her teeth in I mean...

My dog has no nose! ........and no body - we had her cremated a few months ago. Stop laughing.

I am about half way through reading the internet. I hope the ending is good.

I download info onto a mem card, and insert it into a slot I had installed in my neck. Can't read them-just a convenient place to store them

Why did Derek Acorah leave? He was brill! Admittedly he was a deceptive, manipulative fraud, but for entertainment value he was ace!

OH, I just passed out for ten minutes with fear from watching Most Haunted! (Well, ok, I actually just went for a coffee, but "passing out" sounded much more dramatic.)

Made my eldest stay up and watch Most Haunted. He won't sleep for weeks. #evilparent

On facebook last night, I appeared on my own list of "friend suggestions." Is it that obvious that I don't like myself? lol!

Apparently it's bad etiquette to ask whether paraplegics measure things in stumps and inches.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Dunno - algebra is something I don't understand.

I'd hate to lose my mind. It was bad enough when I left my walkman on the bus that time.

Found a musical dolphin at my mother in laws, but can you guess what song it sings? Wait for the guitar solo! - http://bit.ly/32xkh7

You know when Doctors take delivery of something pleasing that they had been waiting for, do they say "Ah, just what I ordered"?

My auntie was always social. In fact, we used to call her Aunty Social which, ironically, used to give the wrong impression.

I just accidentally pressed a spider into my face.

Did Damien Hirst obtain permission from the pencil manufacturers to display their product? They should sue Hirst and donate to the student.

I keep getting spam inviting me to earn qualifications in English. My English is perfect thanks! Trying to improve it would be unpossible.

If you really believe homeopathic pills will work, in a Uri Gellar kind-of way, then I'm sure they still won't.

Why do skeptics have to justify their rational thinking more than the people who believe the impossible?

IncreaseTheAmountOfTextYouCanFitIntoYourTweetsByOmittingSpacesAndCapitalisingEveryNewWord!YouCanGetUpTo15PercentMoreTweetsOnOneLine!CoolHuh?

Has the worlds slowest internet. (As proof, I actually typed this 5 days ago.)

I LOVE the fact that the spell check in Opera v10.0 thinks "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" should be "Electroencephalographic"

After the massive Twitter member clear-out, I'm still here! Phew! It must mean I'm not spam!

Every time I tweet I get another spam-follower offers me nude photos! I'm not complaining about them following, I'm upset I don't post more!